Living in Minneapolis Without Faces

cemetery in malvern

“Cemetery in Malvern” by Douglas Shaver, used via Read Write Poem

Living in Minneapolis Without Faces

You know night lasts for months here.
Even without eyes, you see

 blue twilight extending for days before
you plunge into darkness. The trick 

is to find, before first frost, a person
you don’t mind sitting with, in the dark. 

You will spend weeks exploring each other’s
faces, tracing fingertips across 

the smooth expanse of skin where
mouths, noses, and eyebrows used to be.

 It gets so cold here, extremities freeze.
Fingers numb, even as they continue

 to touch, probe, scratch.  Spending time
pressing the same slate of skin, you will

 forget the tender pressures, the kindness of early winter.
What else is there to do? You will draw blood,

 just as the ice on the lake cracks and splits. 
You will ask how your hands got so sticky.

 After this happens, remember you weren’t always
so anonymous. Once, you didn’t feel so cold.

 

This poem is part of the Read Write Image prompt, over at Read Write Poem.  I tried writing this poem for the previous week’s prompt, and just couldn’t hack it. I’m glad that this picture, with the blurred faces, helped me to find the central image. 

Check out everyone else’s results!

49 Comments to “Living in Minneapolis Without Faces”

  1. I like this one a lot – the word “anonymous” works well at the end, tying it all together…Your use of enjambment adds a nice effect, too.
    mysterious & spooky/sensual at the same time. :)

  2. This really stuck with me. I read it early and got distracted by things, but those images stayed with me.

    the play on the different layers of cold, allusions to losing your self, your identity — it’s very powerful.

  3. It makes one sit and reread it. I like spooky poems!

    don’t forget to get my cigars

  4. This is truly good, Jessica. I love the turn that begins with “Spending time…”

  5. Wow!

    I particularly love the beginning:

    Even without eyes, you see

    blue twilight extending for days before
    you plunge into darkness.

  6. Having lived in Mpls, I can see this…

    Wonderful

  7. I agree with Jade’s last sentence; spooky and sensual!

  8. This is really good. I like the shift from warmth to coldness between the 2 people in the poem as the winter deepens. Very nice.

  9. This is wonderful. The nights last for months in the winter here in Spokane, too. And though we don’t get as cold as Minneapolis, I can very much relate to the last 2 lines!

  10. I’m agreeing with jdbrush. I like the shift :) This is very well done, and I love the imagery.

  11. I love this, too. Just wanted to add my voice to the chorus. I find myself reading it over and over.

    And also to ask about the structure. Because I’m not afraid to look ignorant, I’m just going to ask: I feel like I’ve seen it before. What is it called?

  12. Thank you all very much for your kind words. :)

    Gwen — Hi and welcome! To answer your question, I wasn’t using any form in this poem other than couplets (two line stanzas). Although, I am known to be a sneaky form user.

  13. Love this poem! Thank you.

  14. Tennessee, with temps in the 90s. I can always use the reminder that cold is more than the absence of heat.

  15. I can feel the sink into nothingness. You capture the fade into self and the loss of identity.

  16. This piece is a beautiful description of the pain of winter. The title is good. The piece is well written, flows beautifully, metaphorically intense while at the same time reaching past the surface into the soul of human need.

    I know. I live in Ohio.

    Thank you for this wonderful write!
    Michael

  17. This poem has so many layers and meanings– I thoroughly enjoyed reading it. Thanks.

  18. The darkness and cold is woven so deeply in the words and lines. My grandfather was raised in Minnesota and North Dakota so I used to get “cold” stories from him.

  19. This poem creates the long winter nights wonderfully, from the ‘blue twilight’ to finding a person you don’t mind sitting with in the dark. And then the drama begins. Lovely poem, Jessica.

  20. I really enjoyed it! the metaphor of touching and drawing blood was very good, as we know, living in difficult conditions can make people “sharp” and destructive. Good job!

  21. I really appreciated how the conversational tone at the beginning set the reader up to be comfortable for the eerie situation that followed. Very effective!

  22. Amazing pacing in this poem, Jessica. It’s the sentence lengths against the lines with the enjambments kicking in that really make the precise and beautiful imagery pack a wonderful punch. That last stanza is just a stunner. The last line’s caesura (and semi-caesura with the comma after once) are so subtle and so powerful.

  23. This is so real, and you did a beautiful job of taking the real and making a beautiful structure from it. Very elegant. I lived on the Minnesota border, and remember both the prolonged darkness and the cold. I get irritated elsewhere because the weather announcers don’t provide the “seconds to frostbite” warnings. I have had the skin freeze, and split, but usually it is my mouth or face rather than hands. And of course the feet, those are bad. It seems odd to read this on the first hot day of summer of a long cold summer. I very much like the selection of words you use to describe the relationship in the poem. Insightful and provocative.

  24. The title of the poem really grabs my attention and fits well; it isn’t random, though it feels it could be (until you read the piece) and that provides a charming tractor beam for eyes.

    The ending is also stellar; anyone who has felt without an identity will emphasize easily, and those who haven’t should feel a tug of sadness.

    The comma use in the third stanza sort of messes with my head, but I do have a fetish for punctuation. I don’t think the comma before ‘in the dark’ is necessary, though I don’t know. To me, it makes it look like the poem is throwing a fragment ended in a preposition on purpose. Hehe.

    I must say that I really do like this poem a lot; it grabbed my attention and protruded through the (fake?) numbness I wear.

  25. Fingers numb, even as they continue
    to touch, probe, scratch.

    Death and life aren’t all that different? insensate compulaion…

    Wonderful, compelling images, Jessica.

  26. Is it strange to say that this piece is chilling and haunting? It reminds me of this vampire movie I saw once, where a town in Alaska is plunged into darkness for a month and the vampires take advantage — only without the gore and trickery. This poem is full of real sadness and important questions about identity — and about longing for who we once were and can be. Great write. Bravo.

  27. Oh my! There is so much here. These lines gave me chills: You will draw blood,/ just as the ice on the lake cracks and splits. / You will ask how your hands got so sticky.

    Wonderful job!

  28. There is indeed so much here to re-read/visualize/think about. I love how this is a kind of ice-blindness poem, with different senses needing to come to the fore. Thanks!

  29. The fantastic works so well here……gorgeous, Jessica. The ending rings like a bell.

  30. I couldn’t stop thinking about this poem. I had to come back and read it again. The images really stayed with me. It’s so powerful. Everyone needs to read this one.

  31. Ah, Minneapolis…one of my old stomping grounds.

    I love how your structured this. You use line and stanza breaks effectively. You made me see in the dark. Good write.

    -Nicole

  32. Because it is very difficult for me to understand just how dark and cold it must be in your part of the world, I have come to re-read this. The words are so descriptive, one can feel the discomfort of numbness and split skin. I’m glad I can retreat to my slightly warmer, brighter spot!

  33. This piece reminds me of the winter I spent in Minneapolis. The tires on my car froze flat spots where they touched the pavement, parked overnight. When I drove to work in the morning the flat spots would bump, bump until the tires heated up and became round again. Driving to work a few years later in New Orleans was more comfortable, and the graveyards were just as spooky, but I never saw these two fellows in New Orleans. Did posting it make your fingers sticky?

  34. Love this line:

    “is to find, before first frost, a person
    you don’t mind sitting with, in the dark.”

    Glorious!

    Those last three verses end the poem powerfully.

    It might overall need a tiny bit of tightening, tiny I said! but what a terrific poem. Please let us know when it gets published, even if you have to pull the poem from the blog to do so. ;-)

    Alan
    http://www.withwords.org.uk

  35. Your line breaks leave the reader hanging in the cold winter – very effective.

  36. Tamra at Laughing Dove said:

    “There is so much here. These lines gave me chills: You will draw blood,/ just as the ice on the lake cracks and splits. / You will ask how your hands got so sticky.”

    What an incredible set of lines!

    My only criticism is that you should consider removing: “What else is there to do?”
    that is just before.

    I’m happy to be wrong, but what Tamra (I don’t know them) hit on it. This is where the poem turns, or switches up a gear.

    Writing couplets isn’t as easy as it seems: it’s easy to write ‘couplets’ but not to create such a well paced, incredibly well crafted poem.

    Please please consider removing the poem so you can submit it to a magazine then repost once it’s published! ;-)

    Alan
    http://area17.blogspot.com

  37. I love the concept that people get to know each in the cold through touch. The layers of what a relationship goes through in this kind of environment.

    I especially loved this pair of couplets:

    You will spend weeks exploring each other’s
    faces, tracing fingertips across

    the smooth expanse of skin where
    mouths, noses, and eyebrows used to be.

  38. Amazing.

    Captures a lot about relocating to a new city, where cold is cold and cold is also emotional distance.

    I always believe there is a difference between people who hurt eachother, and people who are cruel to eachother. I think people hurt eachother by nature, we all want differnt things. We are none of us indifferent to cold or numbing…

    SO I feel hurt in this poem, but not cruelty–cruelty being hurting someone else intentionally for personal gain…

    Good job!

  39. Goodness, I had forgotten how cold Minneapolis can be. Lived in Milwaukee for a year five years past, I’m still trying to thaw out. Loved your poem, cooled me on a hot Arkansas day. Cheers DH

  40. I liked the way the poet handled the faceless aspect of two people who come together trying to connect, touching, looking for warmth in the midst of a cold world. I had some of these feelings when I first looked at the photo. Thanks to the poet for giving voice to them.

  41. The line I loved the most in this poem: forget the tender pressures, the kindness of early winter.

    It’s a hot day here in MD, but I now have that mental image and feeling of what early winter feels like. I love that you described it as kind.

  42. Marvelous poem. I could feel the cold; I could
    taste the cold. Such controlled suspense.

  43. I’m so glad I came back to read this. I am nearly tempted to move to a cold climate! To explore until I am no more.

    Beautiful.

  44. “…remember you weren’t always
    so anonymous. Once, you didn’t feel so cold.”

    Love this!

  45. I am linking to your site on my blog. This is a fantastic poem and I think you should consider removing it from the blog and seeking publication.

  46. Great depth and intensity! I love the poem!

  47. Pam, she could also send it out to places like Barn Own Review, Qarrtsiluni, Blue Fifth Review and other journals that don’t require her to remove the piece from her personal blog. There are lots of journals that accept work that’s been on a blog: I’ve never had that stop me from getting a piece published.

  48. So wonderful. This poem very tenderly reminded me of my college days in MN.

  49. You could also consider submitting it to Orange Coast Review: http://orangecoastreview.com/

    I believe they accept previously published work, and it’s a good magazine!

    Alan

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