Jessica
Earlier this week, my mother and I went to the local Aveda salon for spa treatments. My mother got a massage while I got a facial. This is something that we often do together on vacations, and certainly something that I only do with my mom. I look forward to this part of our time together most of all.
At the beginning of my facial, the technician started the facial by ringing a singing bowl. When I first heard its clear tone, I cringed and thought to myself: Ugh, really? How cheesy! But as she dragged the tone out, I felt myself relax more deeply and I wondered why I had that intensely negative reaction. What was it about the ritualistic moment that triggered my cynicism?As the technician poked and prodded at my face, I thought about the moments I’ve allowed ritual into my life. Lately, the space for ritual has been less prominent than I would like.
Once upon a time, I had more room in my life for ritual. I had little mini-altars throughout our apartment, where I would light candles and sit. Or at least, I would light the candles every so often and admire them as I passed by. Until my knee injury in July, I made time (almost) every morning for exercise, a practice which helped me to clear my head for the day. I also had the semblance of a writing practice, an act which helped me remain in touch with my internal rhythms.
I feel like I once had more time for quiet reflection, which I think is now taken up by school work, day-job work, and if I’m totally honest with myself, too much television and “entertainment”. This has left me with a feeling of constant and unrelenting busy-ness, which hasn’t been healthy for me. There haven’t been many moments recently where I’ve felt truly relaxed. The things I turn to for relaxation (hi Glee and FlashForward) have only exacerbated my tension.
Now that I’m on the homestretch for this trimester’s work, I’m looking for ways to let ritual back into my life. I don’t know what that’s going to look like yet.
I think part of it, for me, will revolve around reorganizing my home space. I have a lot of clutter in our home, but I haven’t created those small sacred spaces that I used to have in my personal space. If I’m being honest, that to me feels a bit like window dressing, more of a decorating project than a way to allow ritual back in. The other part, the harder part, will be for me to consider the ways I use my time. Even if I can’t exercise, how can I give myself time in the morning for quiet and composing myself for the day ahead? Since my last paper will be finished this week (hopefully), how can I use that time for writing and not wallowing in media?
I think it may be time for me to plunge back into morning pages, a technique I’ve used on and off throughout my creative writing life. At least until I can recover a bit of the balance that I’ve lost these last few months. Perhaps by the time winter trimester starts, I will have developed enough positive habits to propel me and sustain me healthily through the next class.
