Archive for March, 2010

March 31, 2010

At the Natural History Museum

At the Natural History Museum

I don’t know the names
of all the bones beneath
the Plexiglas. The hollow

of the doe’s rib cage, curled
around the miniature bones
of her unborn fawn. The placard

tells me they died together, frozen
in place, until they were discovered
millions of years later. I read

no Latin names, no new ways to describe
the fragile skeletons they left behind.
The display is illuminated from below

so that visitors can see the hairline
cracks, the articulation in their vertebrae.
I think of my X-rays, the blue

illumination of my tibia and patella.
I think of the before and after:
patella floating to the left,

unanchored by its ligaments and now
nailed into place, two screws
drilled into the shifted bone. All

of these angles and outlines
are a mystery to me: the deer’s brittle
limbs and my bisected and repaired injury,

coffined in balsa wood and plastic
or burned on black film, permanent
evidence of our three brief  lives.

***

Realistically, I should be banking this poem for NaPoWriMo, which starts tomorrow. I should be saving it for that dead time around April 20th, when I’ll be fresh out of inspiration and wondering what the hell I was thinking.  That’s the smart money. But, no, I am going to stay true to the intent of NaPoWriMo, which is to write more poems.

On Tuesday, I wrote this poem in the hopes that I would be priming the pump, so to speak. I wanted to get back into practice before launching in to the poetry writing marathon that is National Poetry Writing Month.  I hope that this poem and engaging again in this practice will help me to invigorate and sustain my writing practice for months after NaPoWriMo officially ends.

I wrote this poem on my mini-vacation to Lincoln, Nebraska.  We visited the Natural History Museum on the University of Nebraska-Lincoln campus (Go Huskers!).  Now that I’ve returned, I’ll be posting some more pictures from my visit to scenic and beautiful Lincoln.  In between my daily poems, of course.

March 29, 2010

Resource Planning, Week 13: Monday, March 29-Sunday, April 4

Creative Goals for the Week:

  • Write 4 poems (Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday)
  • Post 4 poems (Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday)
  • Archive 2 months of blog
  • Create 1 Art Journal Page
  • Relax and renew

Notice anything different about my goals? Other than the fact that relaxation and renewal are on my to-do list? I have no homework goals. Yay! As much as I have been enjoying my schooling, I decided to take the Spring trimester off, so that I can focus on my work and creative practice. Spring is very busy at work, so I think this is my best choice for my sanity.

There’s also another remarkable difference in my to-do list: I plan on writing and posting 4 poems this week.  This will be my third foray into NaPoWriMo and I cannot wait.  I’ve been missing playing along over at Read Write Poem, so I’m excited to start following prompts again.  They have a great extra feature of this year’s NaPoWriMo, so if you’re on the fence about participating, you should head over and check it out. And you should play along, because it’s a wonderful and challenging experience.

For my NaPoWriMo work, I plan on posting every day so that I’m accountable to my output. My only caveat is that if the poem is too horrendous for posting, I will not post it.  (I have no shame, so I exercise this right very infrequently.) I will however circle back here to confirm that I wrote a poem, even if it’s not suitable for human eyes.

So, those are my goals.  Wish me luck!

March 28, 2010

Resource Tracking, Week 12: Monday, March 22-Sunday, March 28

Creative Goals for the Week:
  • Write 2 blog posts – Started
  • Finish archiving month of blog – Unfinished
  • Write 1 poem – Unfinished

Homework Goals for the Week:

  • Finish newsletter (Due Saturday) – Finished 3/24/2010

This week was about what I expected. I did zero creative work, but I finished my final. Since I want to pass my classes, I’m okay with how the week played out.  I feel pretty darn confident that next week will better.  Onward and upward!

March 28, 2010

Engagement in Creative Practice

Now that I’m on the other side of my Positive Psychology final (woo-hoo!), I can reflect a bit more about my topic. I know that sounds backwards, because reflection should happen during the academic process, but I’m thinking about my topic in a different way now.

For my final, I focused on work engagement. Psychologists began identifying work engagement out of the research on burnout. They wanted to find a positive experience that was the inverse to the negative experience. They determined that engagement is a  positive, work-associated mental state that includes three factors:

  • vigor: the energy and mental resilience that one brings to a task
  • dedication: one’s alignment with a role, organization, and/or task
  • absorption: the focus and concentration that one brings to a task, similar to flow

In my final, I focused on the implications of engagement on the work environment, but I wonder about engagement’s implications for a creative practice.

As I think about it, I’ m curious about the potential for vigor in a creative practice, especially if the artist has demonstrated vigor in other areas of life. As I mentioned, the corollary to engagement is burnout.  When someone has burned out, this person experiences exhaustion (the opposite spectrum to vigor), cynicism (the opposite spectrum to dedication), and becomes less effective at the work.  If a person is engaged in professional work, exhibiting vigor, can this vigor translate to a regular creative practice? Or does this person use up all the vigor on the work and become exhausted in the creative practice? I guess my question is: Does vigor build on itself or do we have a finite amount to use?

Of course, it’s no surprise that I’m asking this right now. I’m at the end of a very hard week, professionally, academically and creatively, and I’m exhausted.  I have exhibited very little vigor in  these main areas of my life. Luckily, I’m starting a full week of vacation (right now, as  a matter of fact), so I have time to replenish my energy. But as I look forward to the last push towards summer, which can be a very difficult time of year at my workplace, I’m hoping to maintain my energy, both professionally and in my creative life.

For those of you out there who work and create, do you find that your energy is “used up” in one sphere, leaving you nothing in the other? Or have you found a way to build your energy in both parts of your life? I’m curious to find if anyone has found the magic bullet for spreading their energy out equitably.

March 25, 2010

April is Coming…

…which means spring, of course. It also means that NaPoWriMo (National Poetry Writing Month) is coming. Since I’m officially done with classes as of Saturday (hallelujah!), I’m joining in with the prompt fun at Read Write Poem.  Let the poeming begin…it six days or so!

March 23, 2010

Resource Planning, Week 12: Monday, March 22-Sunday, March 28

Creative Goals for the Week:

  • Write 2 blog posts
  • Finish archiving month of blog
  • Write 1 poem

Homework Goals for the Week:

  • Finish newsletter (Due Saturday)

***

My goals are noticeably sparse this week.  The fact of the matter is that I am a bit behind on my final project newsletter and it will take the majority of my free time this week to complete it by Saturday.  I have one of those weeks at work where I have many meetings, which wouldn’t be too bad. But I also have to complete a ton of work before I take a week off, so I must cram two weeks of work into one week.  I know that I can do it, but it’s going to take a lot of my energy just to wrap everything up at work and finish my final. I will be darn lucky if I get to my creative goals this week.

The good news is that I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. I am taking the next trimester off, so once I get past this final, I will have a ton of free time. During that time, I’ll be participating in NaPoWriMo, finishing my chapbook manuscripts, and reading books for fun.  I cannot wait!

March 22, 2010

Resource Tracking, Week 11: Monday, March 15-Sunday, March 21

Creative Goals for the Week

  • Write 1 poem – Unfinished
  • Complete 1 art page – Finished 3/17/2010
  • Write 2 blog posts – Finished 3/20/2010
  • Archive 1 month of blog – In progress

Homework Goals for the Week

  • Finish Resonant Leadership – Unfinished
  • Respond to forum discussion online – Finished  3/16/2010
  • Read final project research – Finished 3/20/2010
  • Write articles for final project – In progress
  • Begin searching/creating images for final project - Finished 3/17/2010

***

An overall successful week. I wish I had written a poem, but it wasn’t in my cards. Instead, I did 2 art journal pages and a ton of homework. I have one last push on my final and then I can concentrate fully on my writing until September. Just in time for NaPoWriMo!

March 20, 2010

In This Moment

In this moment, I am as I often am – sitting in front of a screen. I am hoping to find something just beyond my reach, in the thousands of pixels and words I consume every day. Here is what I can now see: I am missing everything around me.

***

This post is inspired by a prompt that Liz at be present, be here suggested yesterday. I took this picture using my web cam and then fiddled around with the filters until I created this image. I really like it, because I can see the little rectangles of the screen reflected in my glasses. as well as all the details of my living room, behind me.

If you would like to play along, all you have to do is shoot a picture of yourself and then finish the following sentence: “In this moment, I am…” Then, visit Liz’s blog to share your moment.

March 16, 2010

Inheritance

I have a friend who is a book lover. Since he is a bit older than me, his book collection is much more varied. While I have never been to his house, I imagine that he has books crammed in every nook and cranny.  Every so often, he weeds through his book collection and gives me things that I may find interesting.  He knows that I am a poet and all-around English nerd, so his gifts tend to be old poetry collections or theory books.

When I saw my friend on Sunday, I hit the jackpot.  He gave me a series of old theory books and journals from the ’70′s and ’80′s.  They are, in chronological order:

The cool thing about these old journals is that I can read through some of the tables of contents and find a famous poet.  The L=A=N=G=U=A=G=E Book (an anthology, really) is the biggest jackpot, with contributions from Ron Silliman, Lyn Hejinian, Charles Bernstein, Rae Armantrout, and others.  But some of the smaller journals have less obvious gems. Extensions 7 has contributions from Paul Celan and Andrei Codrescu, The Moduralist Review has a piece by Kenneth Rexroth, and Sub Stance has something by Antonin Artaud.

What I like about all of these is that they represent a specific space and time.  Some of them are well made and some of them are mimeographed and saddle stapled. These saddle stapled ones feel handmade and for me, they represent a time when you would grab a group of friends and crank out a journal, just because you like poetry a whole lot. I can just imagine the editors sitting in someone’s living room, hand editing a poem and retyping it on their typewriters.  I just about passed out from delight when I received this bounty.

My plan is to delve through these new finds and figure out which ones I would like to keep and read. For the ones that aren’t keepers, I may use them as fodder for some poetry cut-ups in my art journals. They will be repurposed into something new, but still handmade. I’ve received quite the inheritance.

March 15, 2010

Resource Planning, Week 11: Monday, March 15-Sunday, March 21

Creative Goals for the Week

  • Write 1 poem
  • Complete 1 art page
  • Write 2 blog posts
  • Archive 1 month of blog

Homework Goals for the Week

  • Finish Resonant Leadership
  • Respond to forum discussion online
  • Read final project research
  • Write articles for final project
  • Begin searching/creating images for final project

***

In school, it’s finals time. I’m only taking one class right now, but I must have my final project completed by March 27. Even though that may seem (relatively) easy, I work full-time and I know that I have friends coming in to town this weekend. Therefore, I need to squeeze as much homework time as I can into my coming week.

My final project for this class is really interesting. The teacher asked us to create a newsletter based on a positive psychology concept. It has to be two pages (front and back) and include multiple articles on different aspects of this concept. I’ve chosen “engagement” as my concept and I’m focusing on defining engagement in relationship to the workplace and suggesting methods for encouraging engagement in colleagues. The research is fascinating and I’m really looking forward to completing the work.

On the creative work front, I know that I have to keep it simple. I’m butting up against a deadline to complete a chapbook, in time for the qarrtsiluni chapbook contest. I worked on the manuscript over the weekend and I need at least 2 new poems, as well as some revisions to old poems.  For this week, I’d like to complete one of those two poems and then to write at least 2 blog posts. I’ve got two swimming in my head right now, so I just need to commit them to paper (or computer, as the case may be).

I’m also working on archiving my two blogs in Word documents. I know that this seems kind of crazy, but I had a bit of an epiphany earlier this month. When I had to transfer all of my old files from my old computer to this new computer, I realized that I’ve become lazy in archiving my writing. Some of my poems exist only on the web via my blogs and some exist only on my computer. If somehow I messed up and deleted both of my blogs, I could potentially lose a lot of poems. Therefore, I’m archiving all of my blog posts by month, so that I have a record of all of my writings. Then, I’m also archiving my poems separately, by year. My hope is that I can have a good repository of my writing, saved both on my hard drive and my external drive. Yes, I actually have an external back up drive now, for the very first time in my computing life. Smart, right?

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